Has been a long, long while. Hello peeps. And while life at chez MTM has not been peppered with galactically stupendous developments, one or two things have been going on.
Of slightly more significance have been some world events, which have impacted here with some resonance. The stuff below about Afghanistan and Sierra Leone was written a while ago, and I just never got around to posting it, but it links in with some of the events in Lebanon, so I thought I'd bring it out of the cupboard. The Int Corps took its second hit in quick succession earlier this year when Jabron Hashmi was killed. You may remember reading about him, if memory serves he was the first Muslim serving in the (21st century) army to be killed. It's been edited so that it makes sense so long after the event.
OLD:
It has bloody well happened again. This comes as no surprise but it doesn't make it any the less unpleasant to hear. I didn't know this soldier, in fact I haven't known any of the men who have been killed in Afghanistan recently, but when it's one of your own it sort of bites a bit more. I would guess that considering this young man was attached to the Royal Signals, and by dint of his name, there's a possibility that he was deployed as a linguist. If that is the case, then his loss will be keenly felt on an operational level as well as a personal one.
In the days after the September 11 attacks I was sat in one of those imposing buildings in Whitehall with, as is always the case in events like these, a small number of very professional, very tired and very pissed off people. (I was the tea boy in this affair and wouldn't suggest for a minute I was anything else). How, we were all wondering, were we going to get any decent, reliable int about Afghanistan and these telly-bunny people whom most of us had never even heard of. To summarise, there are pretty much only three ways of collecting information in situations like this, (technically there are a few more, but the new innovations are pretty much off-shoots of the big three). You can:
- Look at the bad dudes and their kit
- Listen to the bad dudes and their kit
- Talk to the bad dudes (and, yes, sometimes their kit - but not in this case)
One of the major errors which I think our transatlantic cousins made in the second half of the 20th century was their reliance on technological solutions to their intelligence problems. This is not a revolutionary idea - and I am far from alone in thinking this. It is all well and good to be able to listen to Gorbachev eating his breakfast, but it doesn't actually tell you a great deal. Likewise, having the highest resolution imagery of a new factory outside Beijing is pointless unless someone can actually tell you what it's making, when it will be ready and what it can do. In the event that you aren't going into bat against a technologically capable foe - the whole enterprise becomes pretty ******* redundant to be honest.
By way of illustration, several years ago in Sierra Leone a small group of Brits were taken hostage by a group of lunatics who were widely referred to as The West Side Boys. Interestingly enough, The West Side Boys actually called themselves The West Side Niggers, but senior British officers, the Foreign Office and the media decided against the use of this moniker.
Fair enough. They were, after all, mostly child soldiers and it's reasonable to assume that their education hadn't run as far as the delicate history of the word 'nigger'. So, all in all, probably a win for everyone.
Anyway, I digress.
Our intrepid band of Brits now found themselves at the mercy of these drug-fuelled lunatics in the middle of the Sierra-Leonean jungle. And the military intelligence community found itself with a big magnifying glass over it as the senior commanders rapidly asked, "Where are our boys, what condition are they in, how many bad guys are there and what are their motivations, intentions and capabilities?" Or words to that effect.
These are all very fair questions, and it is the job of the intelligence community to come up with the answers. Although, if you're thinking, "Bloody hell, that's a big ask," I'm inclined to agree with you.
So, coming back to my point about our linguistically-challenged friends across the pond - how can technology help us? Here we go then:
"Let's get satellite imagery of the hidden rebel base, that way the hard-as-nails chicken stranglers from Hereford can plan their assault and it will all be over in seconds few."
Good thinking Tex - but have you ever looked at a jungle canopy from the air? It would have been a pointless endeavour and a waste of expensive resources. If all you really want is pictures of the tops of trees in a forest that stretches for a thousand miles it's a lot cheaper to do it in a small helicopter and point your Nikon out the open door. And although this might make you feel better, it's just as pointless.
Another strategy then:
"Let's tune in to every electronic signal they give out. We'll monitor their radios, their mobile phones, their landlines, their faxes, their emails, every time they download a new song. We'll have the bastards, we'll check their bank records, we'll look at their clubcards and see what kind of toilet paper they buy."
I think you know where I'm going with this so I'll be quick. The West Side Boys had never gone shopping in Tesco. In fact, I'm pretty confident they never bought toilet paper either. If they had ever seen a radio most of them wouldn't have known what it was, and as they were illiterate their emails would have been fairly confusing, if they had existed at all. Which they didn't.
Why?
BECAUSE THEY WERE A BUNCH OF ******* KIDS, ****** AROUND IN THE JUNGLE, WHO WERE OFF THEIR TITS ON DRUGS AND THOUGHT THAT LUCKY BIRO LIDS MADE THEM BULLETPROOF. THAT'S WHY.
And relax…
There was only one way of finding out the answers to the important questions - and that involved a bizarre and unusual behaviour - talking to people.
"Who are you?"
"Bob."
"How can we help each other Bob?"
"I'd like some pencils and a writing book please."
"That's not a problem Bob, I can sort that out for you right now, but why should I?"
"I spoke to my brother last week and he's in the camp where your friends are being held."
"Exellent Bob, would you like to have this football as a present from me as well as these colouring books? I can get one for your brother as well if he'd like to come and see me…"
"My name isn't really Bob."
"I know that. It's not a problem for now. Run along."
Details of subsequent events are only available outwith this forum and on payment of a substantial beer ransom. Suffice to say, all the Brits were rescued in one piece, tragically one British soldier was killed in the assault on The West Side Boys' Camp, but not one individual connected with the detention of Brit forces saw another sunset. Not one. I don't refer to that as a boast about how efficient Brit SF and supporting units are at killing a bunch of poor drug-fuelled kids in west Africa, but it does suggest that the really hard fellas who jump out of helicopters knew exactly what they were doing when they hit the ground.
The point that I am taking so long to arrive at is the need for intelligence derived from human sources, particularly when you are engaged against a technically backward or deliberately non-participating enemy.
Jabron Hashmi was almost certainly a key part of that capability.
Written Today:
I noted with interest that Jabron's brother, who I think I did meet several years ago, and who was also an Intelligence Corps soldier, is now studying Arabic at Cambridge. That gives you an insight into the abilities of Int Corps soldiers. I have been corresponding with a former colleague in the Corps who until recently was in Afghanistan and whom I grew to know fairly well over several years, and consider a good friend. I initially wrote him a "grown-up" email, telling him to keep his head down and run fast etc. In retrospect the whole idea sounds incredibly patronizing - he's doing it, I'm not - but there's a certain paternal element which will probably never die, despite the fact that he's older than me. It works both ways, he's lectured me on occasion, and rightly so.
G initially wrote the following in April this year, and I doubt he would mind me reproducing it here:
"I gather that not much is being reported from here at the moment, but there's usually some kind of nonsense going on. No doubt reporting will increase when the bulk of the Brits turn up and head over to Helmand. The local bad guys may be backward ignorant knobs, but a lot of them are switched on."
When I look at the news today, it's a testament to his insight, and I'm glad he's in the outfit he is. After Hashmi's death I wrote:
"Just seen the news about LCpl Hashmi. I guess from his name and his Sigs attachment he may well have been a terp. Terrible loss. It's sounding a bit grim out there right now - rest assured that some of us back here in Blighty are thinking of you and the rest of the boys (and girls) out there.
The government, unsurprisingly, have been making absolute ******* dickheads of themselves over this one - from Reid's comment about everyone coming home without firing a shot to MOD civil servants (I shit you not), refusing to comment on the Afghanistan adventure because it was "a Foreign Office initiative". The mind boggles and I find myself, not for the first time, at a loss for words when it comes to these soulless ******* hypocrites."
One of G's last emails included this:
"I was one of the guys who carried young Hashmi onto the plane at this end - not the most pleasant duty I've ever volunteered for, but he was one of ours. I can't believe what some of those twats in the UK are saying about him."
Sobering stuff, isn't it?
The situation in Afghanistan for British forces is testing to say the least, although I am exceptionally pleased whenever I read an account in the press regarding the manner in which they are attacking the tasks in front of them. However, the circumstances surrounding the deployment literally beggar belief and there needs to be some robust discussion between senior military officers and some of the halfwits who appear to be running the show in the FCO and DFID right now.
I've said it before but it bears repeating on this occasion; I am not a military nutcase, I do not believe that the military is infallible, beyond reproach, not-to-be-questioned or that the MoD is automatically 'better' than other Whitehall departments. Far from it. On this occasion it's proven itself to be a poodle of No. 10 and the whipping boy of the Treasury.
Yes, I'm cross about things again.
It's one of my default settings.
But I am laughing at myself as I write this. So maybe there is some hope. J
* * *
Lebanon
Now that was a laugh.
Not.
That's the abridged version. I must halt now and finish this off later as I have a dinner date with the lovely Mrs MTM, who will be arriving shortly.
Anyway, that's probably more than enough light reading for now.
When I return, I hope to be able to write about a quite significant development in the MTM world, which for some very good reasons I can't do at the moment.
It doesn't involve pregnancy, promotion, pre-trial hearings or anything else to do with the letter P.
Hah, that's got you thinking hasn't it…
